Getting Your Message Across Internationally

Case Study

This short case study shows how even the simplest misunderstandings between cultures can affect relationships, and even cause suspicion and mistrust.

James writes:

Several years ago, I trained an Italian woman, a lawyer, who had recently begun a one-year secondment at her bank's branch in the City of London. On the first day I asked her how she got on with her British colleagues. She was fairly non-committal, and said "Ok".

By the middle of the week, she had opened up completely, and over lunch confessed that she was having a really hard time with her colleagues. "I'm very open with them, and I've told them about myself, but I get nothing back. Why are the British so closed and unfriendly? I don't think they like me, and I'm having problems working with them. As a trainer who has worked with Italians for many years, I understood where the problem lay.

On our return to the training room, I suggested we enact a typical conversation between her and her colleagues. She agreed, and began talking. After ten minutes of speaking about herself, while I sat in silence, I stopped her. Her immediate reaction was: "This is exactly what happens. I talk, and my colleagues say nothing. Why are you so cold?"

I explained that English is like a game of ping-pong. We communicate in short exchanges, largely through asking questions, and giving our counterpart time and space to respond. Ping: I ask you a question. Pong: You respond or ask me one back. We are not comfortable with long statements: we get bored and we find it difficult to interrupt, because in British culture it is not very polite. In the British context, we ask questions to show interest and to establish a relationship. People who only talk about themselves are seen as egotistical.

For Italians, on the other hand, communication is a series of statements, where the listener is free to interrupt with their point of view or information. To show you are open and willing to establish a good relationship with your listener, you give a lot of detail about yourself. Someone who asks too many questions before the relationship has been cemented is viewed with suspicion.

I discussed all this with the Italian lawyer, and suggested she try to adapt her style when she went back to the office. I recommended asking lots of questions to show interest, and to limit what she told them; instead, wait until they asked her.

She agreed to do this, and two weeks later came back on a follow-up day of training. She bounced into the training room, a completely different person. "I have made the breakthrough," she said. "I have tried asking lots of questions, and it really works. They seem to be much more comfortable with me, and have really opened up to me. We are getting on really well now, and I'm making friends with my colleagues."

What can we learn from this story? Firstly, what is normal to you in your home culture, may not be normal when you do business with a different culture. Secondly, it is essential to learn how people from other cultures communicate, and to adapt your style as far as you can, when you are communicating in a different culture, while still being true to yourself and your values. There was no suggestion that she try to become British, but to become a bit of a chameleon when working in England, and to use the communication style that the British feel comfortable with. Equally, for a British person working in Italy, adapting to how Italians communicate would be essential to be able to work successfully there.

The Italian lawyer needed good relationships with her British counterparts. By learning how to communicate with them, she was able to establish and cement those relationships.



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